Part of my desire to start this blog and other outlets is to develop a robust habit of creation.
Creation is something I have done a lot of.
But a habit? I have yet to make one stick.
I have become aware that I feel a rather frustrating amount of discomfort at the prospect of publishing my written or spoke thoughts on this site, YouTube, and Facebook. It’s frustrating because I know that some degree of the future life that I desire depends on my overcoming this discomfort.
Why do I want to create?
Well, I want to be useful. And I want to be the best version of myself. I want to contribute more than I consume.
Many good reasons.(?)
Mainly it is the second reason – I want to maximise all my possible talents and contributions in whatever span of time I have to maximise them. I want to know what it’s like to be a fully realised human being, someone who “has it all” and “does it all”.
In order to do that I must write and I must speak. I have done enough performing so far that the urge is a little quelled, but I feel like I need to reach a stage of mastery in writing and speaking where I have something of real value to offer in order to feel fulfilled.
So I am attempting to build the habit.
How am I attempting it?
I’m not going to aim for a book, or a film. I’m going to aim for a few hundred words or a few minutes.
I’m going to put something of myself out into the world every single day. I need to do it daily. I want it to be something that is as ordinary a part of my life as brushing my teeth. My primary reason for this is not because I always want to do it daily.
It’s because I know that regular exposure is the fastest way to eradicate discomfiture.
I need to crush the perfectionist in me, and so I am going to do that by offending him as mightily as I know how; but putting out work that I feel is not ready.
I don’t think it will be substandard – I have sufficient confidence in my abilities to think that someone will find something useful in almost anything I do. (I’ll write more on positive delusions in future).
That’s how I’m going to attack this and I’m going to start today, with this post. If you are reading this and have any further recommendations please let me know, though I am deliberately keeping my plan of attack as simple as possible.